Anxiety in children
Let’s talk anxiety in kiddos!
This is such a large focus of my work because it is everywhere. In fact we all experience anxiety. It’s actually not all bad either. Anxiety is important, fear is innate and important for our survival. With that being said, we can’t “get rid” of anxiety and we shouldn’t want to. But sometimes we need to “quiet” the anxiety when it takes over our world; when it begins to affect our daily life in a negative way. Sometimes it becomes too much and we don’t know how to cope.
Pre-pandemic anxiety is something I saw in the kids and teens that I worked with, so often. Today, it seems the feeling anxiety has just increased. In children, anxiety can look like more like physical symptoms as they may not have the language yet to describe the emotional feeling that they feel. Perhaps their tummy hurts in certain scenarios or perhaps they are very quiet and still in certain scenarios. Every child will experience anxiety differently and it is our job to be detectives of their emotions and teach them the language to describe their feeling and therefore learn to cope with said feeling.
What can you do as a parent or caregiver to help these small humans feel such a large feeling?
Label emotions, educate about the feeling behind the physical symptom (i.e., I wonder if your body is feeling nervous or anxious right now? Sometimes when I’m in a room filled with people I don’t know, I get anxious. My tummy starts to flip around, I start to get hot, and I can’t seem to find the words to talk. Sometimes I need more time to settle into new places, taking a big deep breath sometimes helps too). Remain curious about what they are experiencing rather than simply telling them.
Teach emotional regulation (beginning with co-regulation - I.e., taking deep breathes together)
Empathize with the feeling
Externalize the feeling (Using an external object to describe the feeling - I.e., dragon. Allows the child to understand that they have control over their feelings and makes it feel less a part of who they are. They are not an anxious child they are a child who is experiencing anxiety)
Normalize the feeling but be careful not to minimize the feeling (I.e., I feeling anxious too sometimes, it’s a hard feeling to get through isn’t it?).
Mindfulness breaks as needed (some children need breaks in certain situations. Teach them it’s okay to ask for space and teach them what might be helpful to do when they need that space to cope with their feeling)
Transition time/ extra time/ warnings about transitions
Providing a space space
Role-playing new and/or anxiety provoking situations
Working with other caregivers in the child’s life to best support them
Art therapy can be so beneficial when working with anxiety. I have used many directives to explore this topic and also done more non directive art therapy as well and allowed my clients to take the lead. The image below is a favourite art therapy directive of mine - body mapping, used to explore what anxiety feels like in the body.
If your child is struggling with anxiety and you need support. Please reach out! I offer psychotherapy utilizing talk, art, and play therapy here in Collingwood Ontario and also virtually.
What works for your child when it comes to anxiety?
